Greetings from Lafayette, Louisiana. At times lately, I feel a little bored living in a smaller city but it has afforded me a better lifestyle. I've allowed myself to get back into golf, cars and gardening. When I moved to New York and dedicated myself to all things music, it took giving up a lot. It was hard watching my friends do all the things, while I sat at home reading manuals and practicing instruments and reading literature. I had moved to the city with a nice chunk of money that afforded me time to focus and I was militant and didn't waste a second. It's how "So Long" was born, but I'm not here to talk about that.
Lately, I've been restoring houses to make some money so I can continue to keep music precious. I'm just not a gig-er. I quickly learned in the music industry that the musician is at the bottom of business plan and have spent the past ten years rethinking how I was going to have music in my life. I've enjoyed getting more comfortable playing solo/duo shows but I am missing playing with a band. When I started touring again, I made it a business first and that meant eliminating most of the expenses that come along with touring. Musicians, hotels, transportation....all those things add up and make it really hard to start a business. That's how I ended up in a van. I wanted to enjoy the process and actually see the places I tour to.
I'm not here to talk about that either. Lately, while painting I listen to podcast. I love Eckhart Tolle, Rick Rubin's "Tetragrammaton", Founders, and The Mental Golf Show. It's like mental floss. I don't know if you noticed, but I tend to get in my own way. In golf, one must swing freely without over thinking or guiding the club. You must pick a target and trust it and let it rip. It's very zen actually and relates to all things in life. When I listen to the podcast, they are talking about golf but all I can think about is my relationship to my music path. I'm learning to let it rip. It's not easy being judged. It's not easy in an a dying industry either. There's no way they are going to put me on a tour bus and not pay me and make me look famous again. It's all smoke and mirrors and I'm done. That's why I play in my back yard and in peoples living rooms and get face to face. I'm not the play to the back row in the stadium kind of guy. I'm not a ham. I don't like ham really, or hams. It's weak and egoic and not healthy.
So, I've been wrestling with the mind and grabbing it by the throat. During the pandemic, Margaret and I read "A New Earth" every morning by the fire. I miss Covid sometimes. I liked being shut down. Margaret was chasing snail trails in the yard and was just being. Those shows we did 10 weeks in a row were special. I couldn't believe how many people were showing up for us. It really made me realize that my work is getting out there. I want to connect more than I want huge crowds. It would be nice to play more music than restoring houses and I'm working on finding ways to do that.
I love the feeling of restoring something. I don't really like doing exteriors but I love this house so much, I agreed to do it. I like the feeling of taking baby steps and doing good work. It's what I've been doing all along in music. I didn't grow up playing music and discovered a talent in college. It was soothing on the first night in the piano labs learning the "Amazing Grace" melody on the black keys. It brought tears to my eyes and something grabbed me and I knew I was going to commit to this. Something was trying to come through but I had a huge rock to chisel.
This is a pic from our "Marigny Opera House" show from last year. If you would have told me in college that one day I would be up there in front of that crowd, I wouldn't have believed it were possible. But the right people were put in my path. People like Dr. Duncan MacMillan, who wouldn't let me quit and put a lot of work and belief in me in those days. Of course there was all the tragedy's growing up that was the early fuel for my fire. After sports, I needed to find something to let my roar out. That night in the piano labs was it and I would be patient and find my way.
After I was dropped by Atlantic Records, I let "So Long" go for a while because it was my first record and I didn't really know what I was doing. When my cousin Patti Ann died, I went back and listened and realized it wasn't as heavy as I thought and that I somehow found joy through the trials. I reminded myself of my old mamere, who had a hard life but was the most joyous person I've ever met. I keep these things in mind, while we all struggle with these modern challenges. Everything since the Trump years and Covid changed. I don't like where the American mind is. It's childish and egoic, really. I want to do my part and don't want to bury my head in the sand. There is a lot of noise out there in music. I pray I can find a way for folks to find the taste for something that will feed them in a different way.
Today I'm driving to New Orleans to see "Slowdive" tonight. When we toured for "So Long", we listened to a lot of shoe gaze music. Bands like "My Bloody Valentine", "The Cure", "Mazzy Star", and "Slowdive". Our bass player in New Orleans used to play with them and we are meeting up tonight. It will be cool to talk to them. Please know that I am putting in the work but mostly making this stuff work for me and not me for it. I hope you understand. The new music we have going over here is a combination of everything that I've done and it's the most spiritual. Paris is my number one city for online listeners. I'm dying to get back over there and play again. Bon Soir!
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